I’m linking up today with other working moms on Kelly’s Korner for Show Us Your Life. I think it will be great to find other blogs of working moms and network with them. I’ve been a SAHM, I’ve worked from home and now I am working away from the home. I tried for the first 2 years to find my place, I spent countless hours praying and talking with Allen about what was exactly right for our family. I am thankful that he was so so supportive. I wanted to stay home? Well, go for it. I wanted to start a business? Have at it. I wanted to go back to work? Do what makes YOU happy.
It’s hard for me to accurately put into words what I need to say regarding staying home and working. I don’t think one is easier or harder than the other. I don’t think people who work do more than people who stay home and I don’t think that people who stay home have a lesser job than those who work. I don’t think I’m horrible and missing my child grow up because I work. They are two completely different things and I don’t think one is superior to the other.
Time was something that I really struggled with while I was staying home. What was I doing with the time I had with BK? Was I taking it for granted because I had so much of it? One of my biggest faults as a SAHM was the time after Allen came home from work. I would be in desperate need of “me” time and sometimes mentally or phyically check-out from the evenings. Now that I’m working the quanitity of time may be less but for me I find that the quality of our time is far greater. That isn’t a one size fits all statement, I’m sure that everyone feels differently about this and that’s perfectly fine.
In the beginning I always felt like I had to justify working, becuase there’s a huge stigma attached to women who work and don’t necassarily have to work out of financial obligation. I would try to justify it by using the angle that insurance would be way better or we could save more for later but the truth is it works for me. It’s great for us and I am so content in this role. I think of it as the right balance for my family and not a choice that is wrong or right. I’m a big believer in following your heart and letting the rest work itself out, it always does.
In some ways I feel like it works so well because my situation is ideal for me. I work less than 5 minutes from home as a kindergarten teacher and BK never has to leave the house. I am home by 3:30 most days and I get long breaks during holidays and of course, my 2.5 months in the summer. I have enjoyed so much going back to work and I really feel like I am right where I should be at this point in my life. Sometimes it’s a busy life and sometimes a little crazy, but its ours and I wouldn’t trade anything for it.
And, of course, this little girl and the hours I spend with her in the evening are the absolute highlight of my day.
And of course, her daddy too…
very, very well said. i think you just figure out what is best for your family and you make it work. whatever it may be. so glad things are going well!
We each only know what is best for our family and our own each individual situation. I find myself justifying me working full time all the time and I have to tell myself it is ok to want to work and be a Mom too. It’s unfortunate that some judge each other for the decisions they make.
I follow you on Twitter and love reading your posts. I’m glad your going back to work has worked out for you! 🙂
Perfectly said! I feel the same way. I work outside of the home as well and enjoy my time in the evenings more so than I would if I were home all day. I think it would be nice to work LESS outside the home and have a 3 day weekend or something, but for now, this is what I do. And it works. Not to mention that FUN that Easton has at daycare and all that he learns while at school. You have to find what works for you and it looks like you’ve found it. What a joy!!!!!
Very well said. Thanks so much for putting my thoughts into words.
Our days are pretty similar – I pick Thatcher up at 3:30pm so I feel like I have the best of both worlds.
I loved your post today, Jennifer!
aw, what a great post! you do have it made 🙂
I dont know why I am tearing up (probably pregnancy hormones! ha!) but this post really got me. I have been home with my 16 month old since she was born, but am finishing up my masters degree in early intervention. Our second baby is due a few weeks after I graduate this summer, so I won’t be back to working for a little while. But, I have had a taste of working part time the past few months as I follow a developmental therapist 2 days a week….and honestly…I was TERRIFIED of splitting my time! I had such anxiety over it the day before I started. But now, I feel like it is REALLY working for our family, and I can now see myself working part time once our second is here. I love what you said about following your heart and the rest will work out. With lots of prayer and patience, it really usually does work out! Thanks for this 🙂
I am an autistic support teacher and I took a year off with both my girls. I struggled with the decision to return to work this time around. Everyone told me not to go back but I decided to give it a try knowing that when it was just one child, it worked out well. I felt exactly like you, working was good for everyone. I spent quality time with my little girl and life was focused. I even coached for a few hours each weekend. But with two it has ended up being different. As a special Ed teacher in a center based program there is a ton of take home work. I pick up the girls around 4 and by the time we get out of our church daycare and drive home it is typically 4:30. Then it is put away all the stuff, laundry, start getting dinner ready, nurse my 14 month old, etc.. I do make sure to sit down and play with the two of them and sometimes we play while I am putting dinner in. I do prep dinners ahead of time and most I have frozen or made on Sunday but it still takes time. It is rush, rush, rush to get two kids in bed by 7:15. Then I make lunches, help with laundry, clean up, and take a shower. Then at 8:00 I sit home to do a minimum of 2 hrs of work. If I miss a night of doing work from home I am piled down with work. I have 7 students and each student has 8 or more data sheets I need to track, I have IEPs, communication pictures to make, social stories to make, active inspire flip charts, etc. Not to mention the three parents in my room who are highly demanding, one has sued the district a few times. Since the baby started daycare she has only been well one week. So… I am done in June. It will be a hard time until then but for my sanity I can not do it all and it has taken me awhile to realize that. I wish that I at least did not have the take home work.
what a great post and so very well said. I so agree with you that you have to do whats right for you.
I am so happy for you JEN!!
So nicely said! I do both you know and I don’t think one is easier or harder than the other. There will be good AND bad days in both situations, you just do what is right for you! Loved this!