I hear a good bit of chatter in the blog world that accuses blogs like mine of not being real enough. I want to blog about our life and all of the fun things we do. I want to tell you when I’m sad that she’s growing up so quickly. I want to share my heart with you. Sure, I could blog about messy kitchens and overflowing laundry rooms but you won’t find my heart or any piece of me there, in those places.
In a world where I’m not certain about many things I am certain about this one thing:
In twenty years, I won’t wish I had written about the dirty dishes. I won’t long for the piles of laundry. I won’t regret that I didn’t spend a little more time mopping the kitchen floor or wiping off the bathroom counters. It won’t be about those things. Not even the toddler tantrums or the sleepless nights. In twenty years, when my sweet Braylen Kate is away at college or doing whatever it is that she loves, I’ll wish I could pull out just one single trip to the park. Just one long day at the Pumpkin Patch when she lays her head on my shoulder walking back to the car and whispers in my ear that she loves me. Or I’ll wish I could see her standing in the kitchen, her eyes big with excitement as I walk through the door each afternoon.
I think one of the hardest things about raising a child is the constant reminder that time is passing. That time is passing at a rate that I’m not comfortable with and I can’t do a single thing to slow it down. The realization that these days are fleeting, that she’ll grow up and find herself and it won’t be in within the four walls of this place we call home.
Don’t get me wrong, I look to the future with excitement and wonder. I can’t wait to see the person she becomes and I believe with my whole heart that the days will only get sweeter. Even when she has a family of her own someday. The dynamic will shift and our relationship will be different. And even when the noise quietens and the children are gone, the messiness of life will still be here. Dishes will still get dirty, clothes will still need to be washed, bad days will still be had.
But I won’t always be able to rock her to sleep or read her stories. I won’t always be able to fix everything with a quick kiss, a band-aid and a hug. Some day life will be more complicated than sleep-training and Disney movies. More messy than toddler tantrums and dress up clothes strewn about the house. While I can still fix everything, for today at least, I want this space to be filled with stories of play dates with sweet friends and cooking baking with my girl. I want to pour my heart and tell you that I’m angry that time is passing so quickly, that I lay awake some nights wondering what I will have to regret when I look back on these days, trying desperately to commit the way her tiny body looks laying in her big girl bed to my memory. So I do just that, I write about the things that mean so much to us now so I can pull them back out later. In the hopes that one day, the words I said on this day will comfort my mind and ease my worry, that these these words will trigger a sweet memory and take me back to a moment in time.
So when you read this blog, you’ll see that posts aren’t messy. I won’t dwell on the drama and I won’t fret the sleepless nights. Because like time, most things that are messy and uncomfortable are fleeting. Sometimes I’ll have to make tough decisions or face hard things and I’ll tell you about those things in due time, because for the most part, I am an open book. My house is clean when it should be and I know that sometimes it’s okay to leave the throw pillows on the floor in the living room with BK’s baby dolls on top. Because she made them each a bed before she went to sleep that night. Sometimes it’s okay to forgo mundane adult tasks when she wants to take extra long bubble baths.
What I can tell you is that this blog is very real whether or not I ever show you a picture of a messy house or write about an emotional breakdown after a rough trip to Target. Those things are tiny and they hold little significance for me. I think you could come over on any given day and see the same things I’m writing about.
Great post. It is easy for me to want to write about the negative things that are happening right now but it’s much more important that I focus on the positive because when I look back, that’s what I’ll want to see. 🙂
It definitely depends on the place we are in life at the moment but we can always find beautiful moments even on the messiest days 🙂
WOW! I love this and, man, it’s like an eye-opener! I needed this! It’s so true that the days seem long {sometimes} but they go by quick. We will never get these days back.
And I’m not sure how that works. Sometimes the days drag on painfully slow but they add up so fast!
I loved this post :).
Thanks, Kristin!
I Love everything about this post because it is 100 percent how I feel as well! Life isn’t always perfect but I choose to think and write about the good stuff because that is what I will want to remember in the future. Thanks for sharing your heart Jennifer. You couldn’t have said it better!
Thanks, Tami!
I love this post! I just found your blog on twitter…love it! I love the blog name, and that you make clear the meaning behind it. Ha! I love by name, not by nature. Perfect!
Haha! I would love to somehow be more Green but I’m certainly not creating a blog around it and I want there to be NO confusion there!!
Thanks for reading 🙂
One of the reasons I read your blog consistently is because of all the cuteness you put on it from BK and because of all the happy moments you share with you and your precious family! Keep it up! I like it this way. I think that’s as real as it gets. If people want you to be “more real” and post about the messiness in your life, it’s only because they haven’t chosen to take each moment and enjoy it and create something meaningful from it, so they don’t have exciting and fun things to post about like you do! Just wanted you to know that I’m still a fan!
Thanks so much, Heather! And thanks for following along 🙂
well said. beautifully written. i definitely don’t want my daughter to (somehow) find my blog decades from now and think “wow, i was a giant pain in the ass!”
Your comment made my day!! Thanks!
as always, your post is very insightful. I always appreciate how honest you are! 🙂
Thanks, Andie!
This post is so well said! I was thinking about the same things this weekend–not that anyone directly called out my blog or anything but just thinking about my reason for blogging and like you, I don’t want to look back and see that I spent some of the most magical days of my life complaining about the mundane and about the “growing pains” that come with babies/toddlers/children. Thank you for writing this today!
Thanks for your sweet comment, Jenn!
What a great post! The days do go by so quickly. I’ve been thinking a lot today about how Mia is three already and how quickly those three years have gone.
I know, as we get ready for her THIRD Christmas I have these thoughts all of the time!!
You know, I totally agree. I did a post not too long ago addressing an opposite view but you have changed my mind. I don’t want people to look at my life and think that it’s not real but I also don’t want to dwell on the bad all the time either. I think there is a happy medium. Great post!
I agree with you, Ashley! There is definitely a medium!
Well said. . . so true!
Thanks, Jodi!
I just sent this to my boyfriend so he knows I’m not the only one that feels this way. He’s very anal and clean, and I’d rather hang out with my kids than make sure my house is spotless. I use the same “In 20 years…” example all the time with him. Thanks for this post.
Thank you!! It’s true though, I don’t want to look back in twenty years and think of a messy house and a toddler crying in Target. Those don’t make the best memories 🙂
I completely agree with this, even though it’s not always how I blog 🙂 I do blog the bad times too and even a few weeks later if I stumble on one of those posts, it makes me laugh. Because the sleepless nights are gone and the incessant crying is gone (yay!). And they went so fast. I do share both, but tend to focus on the fact that I just plain adore my child; which it’s so obvious is how you feel too 🙂 Blog how you want. I adore your blog (and am still waiting on our playdate!) because it’s so real and so genuine. You don’t have to share everything for it to be true. People forget that. Keep on blogging just like you do 🙂
What a great post! You are completly right!
love, love this post and so very true! Im another one that doesnt really blog about the bad times but the moments I truly want to remember.