these things

There are things I don’t want to forget. Things I want to bottle up and pull out later in life when I’m older and things aren’t quite as fast paced. There are things I want to remember that I can’t accurately convey in words on a blog. Things that won’t feel the same when I read them back later in black and white Arial font.  Like the way my heart feels when she laughs so big in the morning when I first walk into her room to pick her up from her crib. Or the way she snuggles up to me when I rock her to sleep. The feeling I get when she tilts her head to the side and smiles so big before she says my name.

There are things that a picture or a video can’t even accurately depict. They show what’s happening but they don’t show the most important things. Pictures and videos can’t show you just how funny she is when she tries her hardest to coax Coco into riding in her wagon. Or the way she takes my hand and excitedly leads me wherever she wants me to go. Her eager, “‘mon mommy, come on.”

There are things that I know will change, seasons will come and go. As she leaves babyhood far behind and ventures knee-deep into toddlerhood things will change. Actually, things are changing. In a strange way I don’t feel quite as sad as I think I should. I have to believe that these things will always be there in the back of my mind hidden deep in my memories.

That one day when she grows into an independent young lady I’ll catch a glimpse of that baby girl who wouldn’t let me help her put her alphabet puzzle together. The one that took her so long to figure out but that she was determined to finish on her own.

Or one day when she’s a strong-willed teenager testing my patience I’ll remember that smile she had as I told her for the billionth time not to touch the ornaments on the Christmas tree. The one where she knew she was clearly testing her boundaries.

Perhaps she’ll always call me with exciting news, just like she wants to run and tell me anything she does right now. And then, I’ll remember the way her little feet sounded running across the floor to find me.

More than anything I hope that her love for Jesus outshines everything else. Then I’ll always remember her version of Jesus Loves Me “Jesus,  for the Bible tells you do” and I’ll always hear that sweet baby voice.