It’s another week of Build ‘Em Up and today we’re (Kelly, Erin, Courtney, and myself) are talking friendships. 
I feel like I could go a million different ways with this subject. Like many other things, as the years pass, my perception of friendships and what it means to be a friend has evolved. Many of us remember the number game in high school, you know, whoever has the most friends wins. When I think of high school (and the first part of college) I think my focus was wider, not deeper. There has been a gradual shift in that dynamic, I still have some of those same high-school and college friends, our relationships have deepened. I’ve learned my friendships go through seasons like many other things in life. There are times when I feel like I’m doing a better job being a friend and there are other times when I’m thankful that my friends give me grace.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t think I have it all figured out. There was a time, right after Allen and I got married that I thought I might never figure it out. It’s overwhelming to be in a new place in your life and a new place geographically at the same time. During that phase, I didn’t have relationships like I do now. I’ve talked to many women who have been in that same place, and the only thing that I can say for sure is it passes quickly.
Don’t count that time out. It’s a perfect time to find yourself, to be friends with you. When my life wasn’t as busy and my social calendar gave me more free time, I learned important things about me. I think I’m a better friend now because of that time. I don’t take friendships for granted, and I try to be the friend I would like to have.
Here are 5 types of friends I’m thankful to have in my life:
The friend who knows you and still loves you- I’m lucky here, I have three friends who I took dance class with before we even started kindergarten. We went to the same elementary, middle and high school, 3 out of the 4 of us went to the same college. We are all in different places in our lives, but the bond we share means we can have dinner and pick up right where we left off. We know a lot about each other, from low-points to high-points and the majority of the points in between. Our conversations can take me to another place in time.
The friend who motivates you. My healthy friend, Rachel, gives me the urge to go to the gym every time I see her. She’s both motivated and dedicated to working out and eating healthy, and that motivates me. It’s important to have a friend who motivates you. It doesn’t have to be working out and eating right, it can be anything. I have friends who motivate me spiritually by the dedication they have to their faith in Christ.
The friend you can count on to be honest. From fashion choices to life decisions I think we all have a friend who can tell us like it is. This friendship has a funny dynamic because this person is able to say things that I might be offended by coming from someone else.
The friend who you just meet. I believe there is always room for new friendships. I understand that I can’t be best friends with everyone, but I believe there are people who will come into my life and stay at different points in my life. In order to cultivate my friendships and grow those relationships, I have to think deeper instead of wider. The misconception lies in the idea that our plate is just too full, our schedules too crowded. I think there have been people placed in my life during the most stressful seasons, people who need to be there. On the flip side, I think maybe God places us in peoples lives at just the right time. Some of my freshest friendships are the most rewarding, don’t count out those relationships.
The friend you can share your passion with. It’s no secret that this blog is a passion of mine. If I didn’t have friends who did the same thing, I might feel a little crazy putting it all out there for everyone to see. I have friends who are dear to me that I’ve met through this platform. Erin is a great example, I can talk with her about trends and frustrations when it comes to blogging and she gets it. She doesn’t have to pretend to understand or try to relate, our common bond lies here.
I love what you said about leaving room for new friends. As someone who moves a lot, it’s so nice to find people who don’t consider themselves “full”!
Kate, it’s so true. It would be sad to think we couldn’t fit more wonderful people into our lives 🙂 Thank you!
jennifer. i love the way you went with this blog post and totally agree. accepting there are seasons is huge. was hard for me at first – thinking there was something “wrong” with me- when people were just plain busy! i’ve come to expect nothing and give as much as i can – easier said then done. love your list.
Yes, Courtney! I’m not sure I fully understood until I was “that busy” or in “that phase” of my life and then it all made a little more sense to me.
I like how you’ve broken out your different types of friends. 🙂 I’ve found it so hard to stay in touch with my sweet college friends who are in different life stages than we are, and it makes me sad. But just an email or a facebook message can make a big impact. And yes…I like how you talk about seasons. I think our friendships certainly go through seasons…..
Thanks, Meagan. It’s crazy how quickly our lives change and we drift apart from those relationships that once were at the forefront. Thank goodness for the technology that we have that keeps us just a click away.
Love this! I have all kinds of different friends, and though I’ve never really thought about it this way, I can totally relate.
Thank you! I’m sure there are a million different types of friends, each person fitting into a special place in our lives.
I loved your take on this post. I have so many categories of friends and I love that! There are friends for different seasons of life too. I’m always happy to see all the old and new friends.
And I love that you are still friends with girls you knew as preschoolers. That is so special. We moved so much growing up that I didn’t get to “grow up” with any same set of friends. But I hope that my girls will have that!