about me, Allen’s take

Last week (or maybe the week before) I saw a link-up on Becky’s blog and I immediately knew I wanted to take part. Anytime I’m asked to give a bio or I write one of those random things post, I always share some version of the same things. I thought this would be a good way to let you know a little more, from a completely different perspective. I sent Allen a text the other day and he agreed, then I had to send him another text to remind him and one more for good measure. He promptly responded after the third text. Third.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at some of the things he wrote. Also, since it’s my blog I think it’s only fair to explain these, from my perspective. I basically just asked him for a random list, which meant I gave him complete control over something I would be posting for everyone to read. You know that was huge for me, right? Jokes aside, there are times when I’m certain he knows me better than I know myself  (I might have stole that line from a country song, I can’t remember if it was just in my head or if George Strait put it there). And I’m joking again, which is sure sign that I need to just go ahead and give up the goods.

1. She is GREAT at timing the gas light to come on in her Tahoe just before any time I drive it. He really capitalized that word, which normally means someone is raising their voice. I’m positive if he were the voice-raising-kind it would be completely appropriate to capitalize in this instance. I absolutely despise pumping gas. I can’t tell you the last time I had to do it for myself and I’d like to keep it that way. I’ve been known to suggest a DQ run (because we all know he can’t refuse ice cream) after dinner to avoid getting gas on my way to work the next morning.
2. Almost every new person we meet says she looks like Marsha Brady or “one of the Olsen twins” or “some country singer.” Believe it or not, I tend to be pretty shy. I’m not striking up conversations in elevators with random people, I’m so awkward when it comes to small talk. Oh, but people aren’t afraid to strike up conversations with me to tell me that I look like one of the above mentioned. Maybe it’s my hair or maybe I have a familiar face but it happens all of the time. I don’t get the Olsen twin remark as much since their image has changed, maybe I aligned with their more wholesome image. People who grew up watching The Brady Bunch always peg me as Marsha Brady and I randomly get a country singers’ name thrown at me from time to time. Most recently it was the check-out lady at Publix who said, honey, you should be singing country music. Please do me a favor and say that with a southern drawl. I just smiled and thought, I think being able to sing is a big requirement. I’m pretty sure Allen added this because he loves to see me turn 6 shades of red in public, or make it a game and count how many times it happens during the span of a vacation.
3. A bug is no different than an axe murderer to her. Bugs, I can’t. I really just can’t. I automatically scream and run in the other direction. I try not to act like a 12 year old girl but I can’t help it, just typing this makes me shudder. He’ll tell you that he thought I was overreacting until he heard me scream once when I thought I was by myself. He came running because he thought it was a true emergency. Thank goodness he did, who else would have killed that bug?
4. It makes her happy if I turn the Keurig on in the mornings. Clearly, he just wants me to admit that I ask him to do this nearly every morning. In my defense, I only want him to do it when we need to add water. I’m obviously lazy in the mornings, and I need that coffee to be a nicer person.
5. If we are out of town, she doesn’t ask me where I would like to eat… She asks Twitter. Guilty. I won’t go into the specifics of his track record when it comes to randomly choosing the dining location on trips. It’s not good. I do turn to Twitter, and people who have eaten at wonderful places (usually local people who know what’s up) give me the best advice. I need to remind him of the amazing food we ate in Chattanooga thanks to a few Twitter friends.
6. She absolutely loves being a mother. Indeed, I don’t think an explanation is necessary.
7. If a shoe is missing, then someone “put it somewhere.” She will cry. This is actually true. I seem to be missing a shoe at least once per week. I always think “someone must have put it somewhere else, because I know I left it right here.” Maybe I say that out loud more than I realized. I do cry. You can cry over shoes, if you’re a girl.
8. Just before her c-section, she put on makeup and fixed her hair.  If you don’t know, I was nearly 41 weeks when I was induced with Braylen and I still managed to spend an entire day in labor. When my doctor said a c-section was the next step, but it would be about 30 minutes, I decided to freshen up my hair and makeup. I’m the only one who didn’t think it was a crazy idea.
9. She may pass out at any given moment… I actually passed out recently, while I was getting ready for work. I was talking to Allen and scrolling through Facebook when I saw a post-op picture of someone’s graphic wound. The next thing I know my head is killing me and I’m on the bathroom floor. The tile is not friendly. I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve passed out, anytime I’ve ever gotten my blood taken, sometimes when I get a shot or go to see someone in the hospital after surgery. I can’t handle the cutting and poking and blood. I will pass out every single time.
10. She really, really wants to like vegetables. I’m not close-minded when it comes to veggies, they just taste bad to me. I can eat them sometimes, like when I’m on a diet and starving. Other than that, I just sneak them into my smoothies and juices and take 2 Flinstone’s a day.
11. She always rounds down.  It’s shopping math, he just doesn’t like it as much as I do. If I spend $200 it’s always “around $150” to Allen. Never round up, round down to stay out of trouble.
12. She would be lost without her planner. I do love my planner and making lists.
13. She never calls Braylen by her name, unless Braylen is in trouble. She’s BK or Bray or Ray or anything shortened. She was even Lucy for awhile and I’m not sure why. She doesn’t like it one bit, she always says, “uhhh mom, jus’ say Braylen Kate ’cause that’s my name. Okay?”
14. She erases 1,000 pictures from the computer every morning… she still has plenty. Not every morning. I set a goal to go through all of the pictures on my computer last month. Most of them are duplicates of the same shot or a million pictures from a trip and most of them aren’t good >and can be deleted. I’m only doing this because I had nearly 40,000 pictures on my computer and it was running super slow.
15. She loves me. No explanation here, don’t know what I would do without him, even if some of the things on this list are slightly embarrassing.

I honestly laughed so hard as I read these and asked Allen about a few of them. I’m so glad I jumped on this bandwagon and had him come up with the list.

And just for fun, how about a throw back from our younger, child-less years.