Over the past three years, I’ve watched a tiny baby blossom into a three-year-old with a larger than life personality. Actually, we’re quickly approaching four, I know because time tells me so, not because I feel like I should have an almost four-year-old in my home.
Because I don’t feel that way at all.
And what pains my heart the most is when I think back to a certain part of our life, when I see a picture of her with sweet potatoes smeared from one ear to the other, I can hardly remember her at that stage. Or when I read back in her baby book about her first words, it’s hard to remember a time when she wasn’t having a full-on conversation with me.
What I’m most afraid of is somewhere in the midst of this busy life, I’ve been trying to keep up while my baby is busy growing up.
Keeping up with playdates and birthday parties.
Keeping up with my weight and body image.
Keeping up with others on social media.
Keeping up with anything and everything but the here and now.
Somehow I’ve managed to glorify a busy schedule and wear it as a badge. I’ve fallen in love with the idea of a full to-do list. I’ve grown accustom to running in the door, only to get everyone ready to run out the door to some other place. A dinner out has become the new normal at our house, and we’re all excited when we slow down and have a meal at home.
As I reflect on this past year, I can’t help but think of how backwards our life has become. I don’t regret those things, no. I can’t dwell on what has been. But, I can make positive steps to future filled with a few more couch snuggles and meals made in our kitchen.
Because I’m afraid I’m going to look back on these days one day and remember this busy schedule, remember how I was always rushing everyone out the door, trying to keep up with this fast paced lifestyle we’ve created. I’m afraid I’ll wish we had more family dinners and game nights, more lazy movies dates on the couch. I’m afraid I’m going to rush through these years, miss the little moments, sail right through the simply joys, and for what?
An appearance at a birthday party? Another commitment during the week?
I don’t think what we gain from the hustle is worth what I’m trading in the long run.
I didn’t set any specific resolutions for the new year. I decided to take it easy on my pregnant (and way too tired) self. But now that I think about it, I think I’ll make this year the year of less.
It’ll be the year we stayed home more, the year we learned that saying no is sometimes the best answer for our family, the year we slowed down and enjoyed our time together.
The year I wasn’t concerned with the haste around me, and instead learned to appreciate the life around me.
The year I stopped trying to keep up so I could really watch my children grow up.
Very well said. I look at my 6 month old and then look at my 3 1/2 year old and can’t remember what she was like at 6 months and that makes me sad. Must. Slow. Down. Thanks for the reminder!! 🙂
Yes! Those little ones serve as painful reminders of just how fast time goes by.
yes, ma’am. white space in 2014! i’m content to be a quitter of the things that don’t matter much to me and focus on all the people I love!
Yes, Erin! I’ve had to switch my thinking from “I can’t quit this because…” to “I have to quit x in order to make y happen.” I simply can’t keep adding more to my plate without letting some other things go. A lot of what I’ve decided it’s ok to quit are things that 1) are not fulfilling or exciting for me or someone in my family OR 2) things that make me anxious to strive, i.e. keep up.
Jennifer, the year you add another baby to your life is the perfect time to adopt less. Enjoy MORE time with your babes by doing LESS other stuff. I can hardly believe James is one (almost 13 months) and I cannot fathom what life was like even six months ago.
I’ve been thinking the same thing, and I’m glad for affirmed that for me. I thought the #2 would force us to slow down.
Erini, your white space post have been incredibly helpful! Thank you!
I´ll have to add that to my resolutions for this year. I´ve been feeling the same way… I had a daughter last May and I still think she´s a newborn! My heart aches when I see her changing so fast. My son is almost 4 as well and last week I was trying to remember how he was as a little baby and I just couldn´t remember well….. it was so hard!!! We need to absorb each moment with our children.
You are so right!! It’s tough sometimes, so I’m going to try and be more deliberate with time, energy, and focus.
There were so many times last year when I caught myself calling us “lazy” or “home-bodies” and would feel guilty about it! The more I think about the time we spent home together last year, the more convinced I am that it was the right thing for our family at this stage. I am with you on “less in 2014” – I think it’s a great motto!
Thanks! I’m glad to hear that you look back on the time and are happy with the outcome. Sometimes I’m torn, but I know we need a slow down.
I had this conversation with JC the other day and we decided that we are staying home more and enjoying each other more. I cook more of our meals. We watch movies at home together. We have loaded up on board games and Wii U games so we do more stuff as a family. I also take alot of pictures because time does go by fast and I don’t have the greatest memory!
We’ve been playing board games and it makes for the best family time!
amen
🙂
Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Thanks for reading along 🙂
Working full-time, I try and only obligate myself if I HAVE to. I spend as much slow, quality time with my boys as I can & I still, at times, feel like I’m missing so much. Time just flies by entirely too fast when you’re a parent. Just wait until you have your son. It’s going to pass even more quickly. I love your quote about “keeping up”. I also love that your are blogging on more personal subjects again. 🙂
Thanks, Shae. Feels good to be blogging regularly and passionately again!
That was such a beautifully written post. As I sit here nursing my 10 month old that I can’t remember as a newborn, this hit home with me. Thank you!
Thanks, Ali! Soak it up 🙂
I needed to read this. I totally struggle with this, too. But I feel like the most I can do is hold my little girl close and try to soak up the love in that moment, because time just keeps on moving! Great post.
You’re exactly right! I can dwell on it or I can soak it in and that’s definitely the mindset to have!
LOVE this. I love every word. And I think a year of less is a great resolution.
I stumbled across a blog recently: Handsfreemama.com and that is basically her mantra. She was way too connected with social media and to-do lists and felt disconnected from her own family. Several of her posts have been inspiring to me as a sometimes frazzled mom with 3 kids.
Thanks for sharing Vanessa, I definitely want to check this blog out.
This is something I sometimes struggle with too, but recently have stepped back and have wanted to relax and enjoy those little moments more.
I also have to remind myself to give myself the chance to step back and spend that quality time with the people in my life that I care about!