our coco

About a week after we got married, I talked Allen into letting me have a dog, a little dog to live inside our house. Growing up, we had pets, but never one that could live inside and never one that I was particularly attached to. That all changed when Coco came to live with us, a shih-tzu/poodle mix with a spunky personality that she would never outgrow. 

I remember bringing her home, a little ball of fluff, she could fit inside a shirt pocket. Before we had kids, we had Coco. We would sit and watch her do funny things, our hearts would melt when she would cuddle up to us. We took her everywhere, she loved to ride in the car, and her favorite trick was locking us out of the car with her excited paws.

On Saturday, she died unexpectedly and without the slightest warning. She was here, and then she wasn’t. Each year at the vet, her reports came back perfect, they couldn’t believe her age. Some part of my wishes we could have had that final send off, let her ride around with the windows down, grab her favorite food before saying good-bye. But, in reality, I know her leaving us peacefully was such a gift, I didn’t have to make hard choices or see her suffer for one single day. She was spunky and full of life, until the end. I will always wish I had one more time to snuggle her, one more time to see her sitting beside Jud at dinner (the most likely to give her food), one more time to see her running with the kids in the backyard.

She was eleven year old, and fiercely loyal to the four of us. She followed me from room to room, the whole time I was home, she stayed on my heels and never left my side. When Braylen was scared to sleep in her bed by herself, she would tip-toe down the stairs and carry Coco upstairs for the night. She was the best big sister.

Nothing got past her, a deer in our backyard, the yard man, the mail lady, she was always on alert. She could be destructive of our personal property and she was certainly set her in her ways. She ate holes in more socks that I can count, chewed the wood around our door casing on occasion, and ruined a rug or ten in her day. She ate her fair share of leather shoes, including one Reva, mutilating the top of a Frye boot, and shredding the inside of a pair of Ugg’s. She had a taste for the best, and as crazy as she made me, I could never stay mad at her.

She was always with me, following me up the stairs to feed babies in the middle of the night, or staying right at the top of the stairs like a fearless watchdog if I was rocking Jud to sleep. Braylen is definitely taking the hardest, although Jud’s wandering around the house in search of her will break your heart.

Our house it too quiet. I never ever imagined I would miss all the silly little things that I miss without her here. Like hearing the door bell ring without her first barking to alert us someone is in the driveway. It doesn’t feel quite right without her watching me while I cook dinner or following me upstairs to put laundry away.

I am certain we will always miss her, and think of her when the UPS man comes or the sun shines bright in our yard, her favorite time to play.

Coco, you were the best girl, our favorite friend, you gave us the best cuddles, you protected us well and loved us even better. We will always love you.